Shift In Behavior

There seems to be an interesting change going on in our house....Kassidy is the "easy" child now. Maybe it is because she is predictable (usually) so you know what to expect most of the time from her. I know that every night she will want me to lay down with her before she goes to sleep. I know that if she does not get warnings before something happens EVERY DAY she will probably have a panic attack. (I can tell you when it is 8pm, 8:30pm and 8:45pm every night without looking at the clock, a mommas instinct so I can warn, "one hour til bed, 1/2 hour til bed, 15 min til bed....".  I know that she will freak out for math homework or worry if she thinks there is the slightest problem between me and daddy. I know that she will probably have a panic attack and want to leave quickly from somewhere new but if it is a familiar place then she will probably stay. You get the jist. 
Shane has become the "hard" child. You never know what is gonna set him off into a crying fit. But it is different then Kassidy's panic attacks. Shane does it to get his own way usually (although he is very sensitive too so if something hurts his feelings he will cry).  See Kassidy (like most kids with ASD) CAN NOT STAND to hear him whining or crying (she can not stand to hear any baby or kid crying, it sends her into a panic attack, even if it is on the TV) so over the last two years Shane has learned that if he cries with Kassidy, she will let him do whatever he wants so that she doesn't have to go into panic mode. Now my husband and I somehow produced two very intelligent children and Shane knows how to use this "weapon" at exactly the right time so as to get what he wants instead of being put in the naughty spot. This morning for example, I was on my way out the door for work and he decided at that moment that he wanted me to lay down with him first.  When I told him that I was leaving for work he wrinkled up his face and started crying (real tears) and right away Kassidy said, "I hate when Shane acts like this, make him stop. I need earphones that block out all other noises" - Shanes cue that if I don't want two kids upset then I will give him what he wants so that Kassidy will not panic. And of course I didn't have time to just put him in his room and wait it out and NOT give him his way because I would be late for work so I laid down with him for 5 min. Now I am telling you that if I wasn't leaving the house, he would have stopped when he realized it wasn't working or else he would be in his room. Right now, typical is NOT easier!  So take that autism, right now you are my friend!