In Someone Elses Shoes

I have been reading blogs, mostly by moms who are constantly "grieving" over the fact that their child has autism, blaming themselves even though they know that you can not cause autism and always being a Debby Downer (although I have been told that I am a negative person). And I kept thinking that I didn't get it, why would a parent feel like they were grieving when their child is alive and breathing. Then I got "the call" from Kassidy asking where Grandma was and that she wanted to come home now. (I was at work and Grandma had some appts so the kids went to daycare today.) MY HEART BROKE. Then I realized I felt like I was grieving, grieving that my daughter was worrying that no one would pick her up even though she always gets picked up. Grieving that unlike her brother who probably would want to stay at daycare forever, she can't enjoy it because all she can think about is when will someone pick me up. I get it now - I grieve too.