Last night when we were laying in bed Kassidy gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek. Then she put my arm around her in the exact spot that she wanted it, left it there for 30 seconds and the moved it and said "I'm done" (this is our normal every night routine before sleep time). But last night FOR THE FIRST TIME she then leaned over to Shane and gave him a hug. Shane looked at me like "What the ...." and smiled. It was a moment I wish I could freeze in time.
Then this morning Shane noticed the window decal I put on my car for Light It Up Blue and he asked me why I put it there. I said because I wanted to. Kassidy then said, "So that other people can be aware of autism and so that they will know that I am special". Baby girl, I could not have said it better myself. I luvs both of them kids to pieces.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Misc Pics
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| Her fav gift - thanks Jerm & Marcie! |
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| 8 years old |
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| That smile is contagious! |
A couple of weeks ago was Dr. Suess' bday so Shane got to dress up as Cat in the Hat at school - too cute!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
In Someone Elses Shoes
I have been reading blogs, mostly by moms who are constantly "grieving" over the fact that their child has autism, blaming themselves even though they know that you can not cause autism and always being a Debby Downer (although I have been told that I am a negative person). And I kept thinking that I didn't get it, why would a parent feel like they were grieving when their child is alive and breathing. Then I got "the call" from Kassidy asking where Grandma was and that she wanted to come home now. (I was at work and Grandma had some appts so the kids went to daycare today.) MY HEART BROKE. Then I realized I felt like I was grieving, grieving that my daughter was worrying that no one would pick her up even though she always gets picked up. Grieving that unlike her brother who probably would want to stay at daycare forever, she can't enjoy it because all she can think about is when will someone pick me up. I get it now - I grieve too.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Observation
Over the last few months I have read 7 or 8 blogs of families with autism (when a child has it, the family has it) and when I say read I mean I started at the very beginning of their blogs and read them to the end like a book. I have notice a few common things while reading them:
- Most kids with autism LOVE the water
- If the kid with autism has a sibling that is typical, after a while the typical kid seems harder to handle the the autistic one.
- SSI denies EVERYONE the help we need for our kids, it doesn't matter where you live in the USA.
- Mom's of autistic families are ALWAYS depressed and BEYOND tired and to these moms it feels like that ALL THE TIME. Is there a connection between the depression/tiredness and that fact that we gave birth to kids with autism?
- Most kids with autism LOVE the water
- If the kid with autism has a sibling that is typical, after a while the typical kid seems harder to handle the the autistic one.
- SSI denies EVERYONE the help we need for our kids, it doesn't matter where you live in the USA.
- Mom's of autistic families are ALWAYS depressed and BEYOND tired and to these moms it feels like that ALL THE TIME. Is there a connection between the depression/tiredness and that fact that we gave birth to kids with autism?
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Nightmare in Austism Land
This morning we had no internet service (don't ask why) and Kassidy's world is crumbling down around her. Let's hope we find a way to get it back on soon!
Still trying to find the "right" doctor for Kassidy to see to be "officially" diagnosed with ASD. Getting a lot of suggestions from different areas but so far each suggested person has declined us. There has got to be someone out there, right?
Still trying to find the "right" doctor for Kassidy to see to be "officially" diagnosed with ASD. Getting a lot of suggestions from different areas but so far each suggested person has declined us. There has got to be someone out there, right?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Borrowed Posts
I "borrowed" these posts from http://autismbitestheblog.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2008-02-18T09%3A30%3A00-07%3A00&max-results=50&reverse-paginate=true
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 10 Snappy Answers to Annoying Comments
If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses that...you'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!
1) He can’t be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)
And yet, amazingly, he’s still autistic! Y’see, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means …
2) Oh, she must be SO good at math! (or science or music)
Actually, her great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob videos! (Or those annoying Thomas the Tank Engine songs!)
3) All he needs is more discipline, and he’ll get the message.
Yup, it’s true -- if you give a child enough time outs, he’ll just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, you’ll become fluent!
4) You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability.
Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So…thanks so much!
5) Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?
Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughter’s divorce been finalized yet? And I’m so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job…
6) I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!
Wow! So I guess she’s enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!
7) If she can’t behave properly, you shouldn’t BRING her to the grocery store!
Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? I’ll really enjoy the delivery service!
8) We can’t include him in typical classes, it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.
Hm, that’s an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!
9) We can’t accept her at our school because she doesn’t have a learning disability
Ohhhh… what a shame! Oh, wait, look, she’s suddenly developed dyslexia! Can she come to your school now?
10) You should make more time for yourself!
You’re so right! So will you be babysitting tonight or tomorrow night?
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
* Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.
* Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
* Never buy a car you can't push.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once
* We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull, Some have weird names , and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Top 10 Snappy Answers to Annoying Comments
If you're a parent with a child on the spectrum, you've probably responded to the same annoying remarks and questions a thousand times. Here's a handy list of responses that...you'll probably never use out loud (but are fun to imagine using)!
1) He can’t be autistic -- he can talk! (or make eye contact, smile, engage)
And yet, amazingly, he’s still autistic! Y’see, autism is a spectrum disorder, and that means …
2) Oh, she must be SO good at math! (or science or music)
Actually, her great talent is in memorizing and reciting lines from Sponge Bob videos! (Or those annoying Thomas the Tank Engine songs!)
3) All he needs is more discipline, and he’ll get the message.
Yup, it’s true -- if you give a child enough time outs, he’ll just stop being autistic. And if I speak French to you loudly enough, you’ll become fluent!
4) You poor thing, it must be so upsetting to have a child with a disability.
Yes, it can be hard. And pity really helps me to get through the day and feel better about myself and my child. So…thanks so much!
5) Will he be able to go to college (or get married or hold down a job)?
Hm. Good question. By the way, has your daughter’s divorce been finalized yet? And I’m so sorry to hear that your son was recently laid off from his job…
6) I have a friend whose child was autistic, and she cured him!
Wow! So I guess she’s enjoying the millions she made after figuring out how to cure autism? I bet her second home is a yacht!
7) If she can’t behave properly, you shouldn’t BRING her to the grocery store!
Wow -- that would be great. Should I fax you my grocery list, or send it by email? I’ll really enjoy the delivery service!
8) We can’t include him in typical classes, it wouldn’t be fair to the other kids.
Hm, that’s an interesting perspective. So I guess you have a pretty big endowment to pay for all the law suits? That must be great!
9) We can’t accept her at our school because she doesn’t have a learning disability
Ohhhh… what a shame! Oh, wait, look, she’s suddenly developed dyslexia! Can she come to your school now?
10) You should make more time for yourself!
You’re so right! So will you be babysitting tonight or tomorrow night?
Thursday, March 3, 2011
I Could Not Have Said It Any Better!
I read the following from a blog at http://roostercalls.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-03-01T19%3A55%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=7&reverse-paginate=true and felt like someone was looking inside of me. Here is what it said:
i'm tired
tired tired tired
i'm thirty different kinds of tired
and i'm tired of being tired
when i wake up, i am
when i go to sleep, i am
while i'm sleeping i'm tired
but i'm never sleeping
bodies can't breathe on this little sleep
food can't digest
synapses can't snap
i've been tired since i can't remember when
i'm tired like cliches
i'm tired like your grandma's mother
i'm tired like old socks
i'm the tired you're weary of hearing and seeing
i've gotten a year's worth of sleep in five long years
and i need a year's worth of sleep tonight to make it through another endless day tomorrow, and that seems unlikely
i'm older than i am,
don't recognize myself sometimes
tired of myself, tired of telling it, of this, of it
i'm tired enough that sometimes i can't sleep because, well, you know.
i close my eyes and fish flop and wonder why i am awake awaiting being awakened which makes no sense
and trying to sleep i wonder if the president gets this tired
and worry i'm not safe for driving this tired
and contemplate what if your age reflected your sleep, say based on a normal person's eight hour needs,
and what if you did the math and found out i'm a hundred and seventy four
I need a nap!
i'm tired
tired tired tired
i'm thirty different kinds of tired
and i'm tired of being tired
when i wake up, i am
when i go to sleep, i am
while i'm sleeping i'm tired
but i'm never sleeping
bodies can't breathe on this little sleep
food can't digest
synapses can't snap
i've been tired since i can't remember when
i'm tired like cliches
i'm tired like your grandma's mother
i'm tired like old socks
i'm the tired you're weary of hearing and seeing
i've gotten a year's worth of sleep in five long years
and i need a year's worth of sleep tonight to make it through another endless day tomorrow, and that seems unlikely
i'm older than i am,
don't recognize myself sometimes
tired of myself, tired of telling it, of this, of it
i'm tired enough that sometimes i can't sleep because, well, you know.
i close my eyes and fish flop and wonder why i am awake awaiting being awakened which makes no sense
and trying to sleep i wonder if the president gets this tired
and worry i'm not safe for driving this tired
and contemplate what if your age reflected your sleep, say based on a normal person's eight hour needs,
and what if you did the math and found out i'm a hundred and seventy four
I need a nap!
My Opinion
I have not watched the show Parenthood at all so I do not know the backstory regarding the family with the son named Max that has Aspergers Syndrome. But I had heard that Tuesday nights episode was going to be about the parents explaining to Max about his autism so I decided to watch it since we just recently explained to Kassidy that she has autism as I was interested in seeing how they would handle it. I did not like the way the show made the parents look almost like idiots when they first were talking to Max about it. It made me feel like the parents were just finding out too and they came across as morons. I did like the way that they showed Max's reaction to the rollercoaster breaking down just as he got on. I probably wont watch this show again because too me it seems that they want to make Max's parents look stupid and I know that most parents of autistic children are far from stupid because once your receive the diagnosis, you read and research everything you can about it so that you know what you are facing in your future with your child.
But then this morning we were watching PBS kids and the show Arthur came on and the first episode was about one of the characters name George becoming friends with a boy who had Aspergers Syndrome. They explained what it was beautifully and in a way that any age could understand. I wish I had recorded it. So when the show was over I didn't say one word because I wanted to see if Kassidy would react to it. After a few minutes she said, "I thought I was normal until I found out I have autism." UUGHH! So I replied that she is normal, that normal kids can have issues like some are allergic to nuts and some may have diabetes and some may walk funny or like me, I am normal (?) but I have a muscle condition. Her reaction was "oh yeah, huh." Shanes reaction was "Do I have autism too?" I told him no and he asked me if Kassidy was born with autism and I said yes. Then he asked me if he had anything different about him and I told him that he kinda did, that he was a perfectionist and if something was not perfect, he always gets upset to which he replied that I was wrong, he did not have to have everything perfect because there was nothing wrong with him (as in he is perfect) - point made.
But then this morning we were watching PBS kids and the show Arthur came on and the first episode was about one of the characters name George becoming friends with a boy who had Aspergers Syndrome. They explained what it was beautifully and in a way that any age could understand. I wish I had recorded it. So when the show was over I didn't say one word because I wanted to see if Kassidy would react to it. After a few minutes she said, "I thought I was normal until I found out I have autism." UUGHH! So I replied that she is normal, that normal kids can have issues like some are allergic to nuts and some may have diabetes and some may walk funny or like me, I am normal (?) but I have a muscle condition. Her reaction was "oh yeah, huh." Shanes reaction was "Do I have autism too?" I told him no and he asked me if Kassidy was born with autism and I said yes. Then he asked me if he had anything different about him and I told him that he kinda did, that he was a perfectionist and if something was not perfect, he always gets upset to which he replied that I was wrong, he did not have to have everything perfect because there was nothing wrong with him (as in he is perfect) - point made.
Misc Stuff
Last night I was reading The Story of Jonah to the kids and I got back some great feedback from them considering we have not attended church much (usually only when Grandmama and Aunty Shell visits). Kassidy commented on the fact that Jonah looked like Jesus (he actually did in this book) but that Jonah could not walk on water like Jesus could. (How did she know that one?) Then Kassidy said Jesus and God are the same person and Shane said but Jesus was on earth and God lives behind the sun on a cloud. (Too cute!) Our weiner dog Sunset was in the room with us and just happend to jump in Shane's lap when Shane said that (Sunset is Shanes dog and Shane is Sunsets human) and then Shane said, "God sure had a really hard job when he had to put all Sunset's hair on her!"
Guess it is time to find a church!
Guess it is time to find a church!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
What Sound Does A Heart Breaking Make?
Last night as we were laying down for bed Kassidy and I had this conversation:
K: Mommy, no one understands me.
Me: What?
K: No one understands me.
Me: Who doesn't understand you?
K: Everyone. No one gets how I want to do things.
What sound does a heart make each time it breaks?
K: Mommy, no one understands me.
Me: What?
K: No one understands me.
Me: Who doesn't understand you?
K: Everyone. No one gets how I want to do things.
What sound does a heart make each time it breaks?
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